"Essential Love" our Birthright
The "Essential Love" is the basic love and care for ourselves remaining available whatever we experience in our life. Firstly, let's bring some understanding of the basic environment in which we live today. I will formulate a few crucial points to deepen our understanding of inner reality. Our perception of life has been conditioned by our past education and experiences. The suffering we experience today is not only due to external circumstances but it is also the result of some basic misunderstandings, misconceptions and thinking habits that have formed over the years. Our education as children in the west has emphasised on training us on the cognitive level, we have learned to think analytically and then draw conclusions, but often our physical and emotional awareness has not been taken care of sufficiently. The end result is that our ability to be with whatever arises in us physically and emotionally is conceptualised. I mean that, for example, we have a tendency to bring out the thinking to deal with an emotion. It simply is too early to bring the thinking in. First, we need to allow ourselves to “Be” with an emotion and accept that it is there. We need to recognise that emotion by becoming present to it, breathing through it without judging it as good or bad. In essence, it is neither good nor bad. It simply is, and it will naturally change. The second element that is necessary to allow this process of “being with an emotion” is to have a loving attitude toward ourselves, whatever we experience. A sort of loving care for our vulnerable self, like a good mother for her child.
How can we reawaken this sense of loving care for ourselves? Can you consider that at the core of your being there is a kind of fundamental self-love, care and acceptance or do we reject this possibility? I suggest that you reflect on this point before you go further. We often struggle to believe in this fundamental love because simply we do not experience it yet. Here are two simple practices that will support you to reconnect and to nourish that inner sense of love. These exercises have been effective first for me personally and then for many people who have studied with me.Recalling the feeling of “Loving Care”:
We will first create a beneficial inner environment in our body.
Sit comfortably on a cushion or a chair with your back straight. The hands are resting on the knees. The chest is open and the eyes are looking down with a gaze like the ocean. The mouth is slightly open as if saying “Ah”. Feel the quality of spaciousness and presence through your whole body. Now connect with the natural flow of the breath, rooted in your belly. Take your time to connect with your breath, aware of breathing in, aware of breathing out. Rest your attention on the breath. Keep coming back to your breath whenever you get distracted. Do not judge your experience, whether it is pleasant or unpleasant. Feel the quality of being and accepting whatever you feel. Take at least 5 minutes doing that.
We are here nourishing a sense of inner space as an opposite to the feeling of being under pressure (which is the result of losing inner space.)
Now let's recall the quality of “Loving Kindness, care, acceptance that we have received sometime in the past, from our family, a friend, an animal, nature or the simple warmth of the sun on your body. Take a few minutes doing that, recalling and allowing any past loving experience to arise in you. Do not think too much, rather let it be a surprise.
Feel that this loving care and acceptance is filling you completely. Blessing the pelvis, the belly, the chest and heart, calming the mind, soothing the body and the emotions. Breath naturally as you rest in that caring feeling.
Now, have a sense if there is a “Compassionate Presence” of your own cultural or spiritual background that embodies this quality of love, acceptance, care. It can also be a compassionate being of your choice. Be open to what comes to you. Let yourself be surprised.
If nothing comes it is ok, simply come to rest in a bubble of Loving care all around you.. Give yourself a minimum of 5 minutes for that practice.
Resting in the compassionate Presence.
Feel that with every breath, you take in nourishment from the “Compassionate Presence”. As you breathe in you take this quality of loving care into your belly, your chest, your heart, in any tense or painful areas. As you breathe out you exhale any difficult emotions or pains into the floor, the earth below. Repeat that process until your whole body, emotions and mind has settled in a warm glowing feeling. Simply rest there at peace for a while.
To Complete: Let the “Compassionate Presence” dissolve in the air, the light around you.
Knowing that this “Compassionate Presence is always there with you with every breath we take, with every step we make.
Note: If you meet any inner difficulties or strong emotions during the practice, simply try to accept the way it was, as it was and keep the natural flow of breath with a slightly opened mouth. Do not judge yourself or anybody else. Going back to letting the breath flow, whatever we experience allows the natural process of transformation to occur. Naturally the clouds pass on as the wind like breath comes. The next time you do the practice, it will be different and a new experience.
I wish you well with this wonderful practice that has brought healing to so many people over the last twenty-five years. We are here nurturing the consciousness of our ultimate nature, learning to trust it and rest in it. If we nourish that perspective daily, after some time, it will be naturally available to you as a ground for “Being”. Then your relationship to the emotional roller coaster of life is very different. There is a basic inner love and calmness in the way you approach the difficulties. Many blessings on your practice.
On this blog, I will continue addressing the difficulties we encounter in our daily life and art.
© Didier Danthois Jan. 2019